Sunnah of Childcare: Welcoming the Newborn Part 2

When a Muslim child is born, welcoming him or her into the world includes certain religious rituals. Some of these rituals are considered obligatory to perform while others are not. And for some others differences of opinion exist. Below is a list of these rituals compiled from various sources and continued from our previous post, Sunnah of Childcare: Welcoming the Newborn Part 1. 

5. Performing the ‘Aqeeqah

‘Aqeeqah refers to the religious animal sacrifice made on behalf of a child when he or she is born as a way of thanking Allah, subhana wa ta ala, for the blessing he has bestowed.

In a hadith reported by Abu Dawood, the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, “Every child is held at ransom by his ‘aqeeah. A sacrifice should be offered on his behalf on the seventh day. (On this day), his hair should be cut and he should be given a name.”

The aqeeqah is performed for both male and female children and may be offered on the seventh day after the child is born, the 14^th day, the 21^st or any day after that. Animals to be sacrificed must be healthy sheep. They cannot have a limp, broken bones, sickness, or be only one-eyed.

When one performs aqeeqah, two sheep should be sacrificed for a boy, while only one need be sacrificed for a girl. In addition, the meat should be distributed evenly; some is kept to eat by the family, some is given in charity, and some is used to feed the people who attend.

Umm Kurz once asked the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, about the aqeeqah and he replied, “two sheep for a boy nad one for a girl. And it does no harm to you whether they are males or females (the sheep).” –reported by abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, and AnNasaa’ee

--Taken from Raising Children in Light of the Qur’an and Sunnah

6. Shaving the Child’s Head

In relation to the aqeeqah, the child’s head should be shaved on the seventh day after its birth.

When the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, performed aqeeqah for his grandson Hasan he said, “O Faatimah! Shave his head and give charity the weight of his hair in silver.” –Reported by Tirmidhi

Shaving the head of the child, whether male or female, is a way of removing harm from them as the Prophet, sallallahi alayhi wa sallam, said, “When it is the child's seventh day, then spill blood for him, remove the harm from him (i.e. shave the head) and name him.”—Recorded in at-Tabaraanee, declared hasan by Ibn Hajar

Once the child’s head is shaved, the hair is to be weighed and its amount equal in silver is to be donated as charity (see above hadith recorded in Tirmidhi)

-- Taken from: http://abdurrahman.org/character/newbornuhedu.html

7. Initiating Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is considered an essential right of the Muslim child and should begin as soon as possible after birth and last until the age of weaning, which is two years. 

For a detailed explanation of breastfeeding in Islam, please see our previous post A Mother’s Milk: The Command from Allah. 

8. Circumcising the Child

Circumcision is part of the fitrah for male children as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said, 

“The Fitrah (natural way) is five: circumcision, shaving the private parts, trimming the mustache, clipping the nails and plucking hair from the armpits.” – Reported by Bukhari and Muslim

It is recommended to perform circumcision on the seventh day after the child is born, but can be performed before or after that as well, if needed.

The benefits of circumcision include implementing a sunnah of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and reducing the risk of infection from dirt and bacteria that can get caught underneath retained foreskin.

--Taken from http://abdurrahman.org/character/newbornuhedu.html

9. Making Dua’a for the Child

It’s recorded in both Bukhari and Muslim that the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, would seek make dua’a for his grandsons, saying, “I seek refuge (in Allah) for the two of you through the perfect words of Allah from every devil and poisonous pest, and from every evil (envious) eye.”

For more on making dua’a for children see our previous post, Sunnah of Childcare: Seeking Protection. 

Sunnah of Childcare: Welcoming the Newborn Part 1

 When a Muslim child is born, welcoming him or her into the world includes certain religious rituals. Some of these rituals are considered obligatory to perform while others are not. And for some others differences of opinion exist. Below is a list of these rituals compiled from various sources. 

1. Reciting the Athan in the Newborn’s Ear

Immediately after a child is born, within the first moments of its life, the athan should be recited into his or her ear. It’s reported in Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, and Ahmad, that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, recited the athan into the ear of Hasan ibn Alee when Fatimah gave birth to him.

Regarding the wisdom of this, Ibn Al Qayyim said, “The secret meaning behind the athaan (in the ear), and Allah knows best, is that the first sound that should resonate in the ears of a human being are these words which consist of magnification and glorification of the Lord as well as the testimony of Faith, which is the first thing that admits one into Islam…”  

--Taken from Raising Children in Light of the Quran and Sunnah

2. Performing Tahneek

Tahneek is the practice of softening a date and rubbing a bit of it on the hard palate of the newborn’s mouth with your finger. This is a recommended sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. 

Abu Moosa Al-Asharee reported, “A boy was born to me, so I took him to the Prophet. He named him Ibraheem, performed tahneek on him using a date, and invoked blessings on him.” –Bukhari and Muslim

Ibn Hajar is reported to have said, “Priority should be given to ripe dates. If one is not able to find them, then he may use moist dates. If not, then something sweet. And the honey of a bee is better than anything else.” – Fat’h-ul-Baaree under “The Book of Aqeeqah’

The benefits of performing tahneek include: 

• Reviving a Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah
• Helping a newborn child to exercise his mouth muscles by moving his tongue when he tries to lick and jaw when he tries to suckle, both of which can help to initiate breastfeeding. --Tarbiyyatul-Awlaad fil-lslaam' of 'Abdullaah Naasih 'Alwaan (Vol. i, P. 71)

-- Taken from http://abdurrahman.org/character/newbornuhedu.html

3. Announcing the News

It is customary for the parents to announce the good news of the child’s birth. This puts ease into the hearts of anxiously waiting family members and lets them know that they can be happy for the parents, congratulate them, make dua’a for them, and make dua’a for the child. 

The announcement can also be done for the coming of the newborn, as is mentioned in the Qur’an. 

In Suratal Maryam, Allah, subhana wa ta ala, announced to Prophet Zakariyyah (alayhi salaam) that he would have a son. The translation says: “O Zakariyah, verily We give you the glad tidings of a son whose name will be Yahyaa.” –ayah 7

And in Surah As-Saaffaat, Allah, subhana wa ta ala, speaks of Prophet Ibrahim, alayhi salam, when he says (translation): “And We gave him the glad tidings of Ishaaq – a prophet from among the righteous.” –ayah 112

--Taken from Raising Children in Light of the Qur’an and Sunnah

4. Naming the Child

Giving a good name is one of the essential rights of a Muslim child. You can read more about this right in our previous post, Children’sRights: To Be Given a Good Name. 

It is recommended to name a child on the seventh day after their birth though it is permissible to name them at any time before or after that as well. 

In a saheeh hadith reported by Ahmed, Abu Dawood, and others, the Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, said: “Every child is held in pledge for his aqeeqah which is sacrificed for him on his seventh day, and he is named on it and his head is shaved.”

Among the praiseworthy names to give a Muslim child are:

•  Names that indicate servitude to Allah, i.e. Abdullah or Abdurrahman
•  Names that belonged to the Prophets, i.e. Muhammad, Adam, or Ibraheem
•  Names of pious people, both men and women, including The Companions, the Martyrs and the Scholars, i.e. Maryam, Sumayyah, or Umar
•  Names that have good meanings, i.e. Sarah or Hamzah

Names that are prohibited to give a Muslim child include (but are not limited to):

• Names that indicate servitude to other than Allah, i.e. Abdur Rasool (slave of the Messenger)
• Names that are specific to Allah, i.e. Al-Ahad
• Names that have negative meanings, or meanings that could cause the child to feel humiliated, or meanings that could be offensive, i.e. Fitnah (temptation), Himaar (donkey), or Nuhaad (young woman with raised breasts)

-- Taken from http://abdurrahman.org/character/newbornuhedu.html

Sunnah of Childcare: Teaching Good Manners

I never grew up around small children. So it's no surprise that for most of my life I thought of children as being entirely different from adults. To me, children were their own special breed of mammals that were to be treated and raised uniquely from everyone else on the planet. 

It wasn't until after having children of my own that I learned first-hand how wrong I was. Alhamdulilah for that! Children aren't that different from adults and often have the same needs such as love, protection, mental stimulation, social interaction, and a guiding hand to help them learn the ways of the world. As my older brother would say, "children are people, just in smaller packages." 

And just as important as it is for us "big people" to learn and implement proper Islamic manners, so it is for our children. 

In his book, Raising Children in Light of the Qur'an and Sunnah, Shaykh 'Abdus Salaam bin 'Abdillah As-Sulaymaan says, "After weaning, the child enters a stage when he is distinguished for having a pure and clean disposition as well as a love for following and imitating. So he is like a soft piece of dough (ready to be molded). Therefore, you must not belittle this stage in their lives and say, 'He is young - he doesn't understand...You must familiarize him with the etiquettes of eating, sleeping, and greeting...He should also be made to get used to the characteristics of honesty and trustworthiness." 

The Shaykh notes a couple of examples where the Prophet Muhammad, sallahu alayhi wa sallam, corrected and taught the youth of his time manners in different situations.

Abu Hurairah, rahimahuAllah, reported: “Al-Hasan, rahimahuAllah, once took a date from the stockpiles of charity and placed it in his mouth. So the Prophet said, ‘Kakh, Kakh! Throw it away, throw it away. Don’t you know that we don’t eat from charity?’” (Bukhari and Muslim)

‘Umar bin Abee Salamah, rahimahuAllah, said: “I was a young boy under the care of Allah’s Messenger, and my hand would go around the dish when eating. So the Messenger of Allah told me, ‘O young lad, mention the name of Allah, eat with your right hand, and eat (from the dish) what is closest to you.’ Ever since then I applied these instructions when eating.” (Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad)

Towards his closing the Shaykh says, “So it is an obligation on the parents to prevent their child from things that are prohibited even if their child is at the age where he is not accountable for his actions. This is since if he is accustomed to doing the unlawful in his youth, he will become attached to it when he gets older and it will be hard for him to stop at that point.”

Below are a few Islamic manners from the Qur’an and Sunnah that we can teach our children, inshaAllah.

Greeting with the Islamic greeting of peace, “Asalaamu Alaykum”

“But when you enter the houses, greet one another with a greeting from Allah (i.e. Asalaamu Alaykum) blessed and good.”—Qur’an, 24:61

Asking permission before entering a person’s house, room, or any private space

“O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission.” –Qur’an, 24:27

Shaking hands when meeting another Muslim

“Shake hands with one another; any hatred will go away…” – Related by Maalik with authentic chains

Choosing good companions

“A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you be careful about the person with whom he establishes friendship.” – Related by Abu Dawood, graded hasan by Albaanee

 Speaking good

“…And whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak good or remain silent.” – Related in Bukhari

Mentioning Allah’s name before eating (Bismillah)

(see above hadith from ‘Umar bin Abee Salamah)

Performing wudu before going to sleep

“When you go to your bed, then perform the same ablution that you perform for prayer…” – Related by Bukhair, Muslim, Ahmad, and Tirmidhee

Being a good neighbor

“The best of companions with Allah is he who is best to his companion, and the best of neighbors with Allah is he who is best to his neighbor.” – Related by Tirmidhee who graded it hasan ghareeb

For detailed descriptions of these and other manners, and their place in the sunnah, please read The Book of Manners, published by Darussalam.

Sunnah of Childcare: Teaching Tawhid

Post excerpted from Raising Children in Light of the Qur'an and Sunnah

Upon the first indications that a child is beginning to speak, the parents should strive to teach him the statement of tawhid by dictating it to him.

Ibn 'Abbas, radiAllahu anhu, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: "Initiate to your children that the first word they pronounce be: laa illaaha illaaAllah. And at the time of their death, incite them to say: laa illaaha illaaAllah." --Al-Bayhaqee

Umm Sulaim, may Allah be pleased with her, would dictate to her son, Anas, saying: "Say: There is no deity that has the right to be worshipped except Allah. Say: I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah." This was before the age of weaning. --Siyar A'laam an-Nubalaa

It should be consistently repeated in front of him. This applies especially to the mother who should do that when playing with him. Then when the child grows up accustomed to it and begins to understand, you should explain to him so that he understands its meaning.

The child should also be taught that Allah is One and that He has no partner. He should be taught that Allah is the Creator, that He is above the heavens, that He ascended over the Throne, that He sees us and knows our state of being, that He hears and sees and that He is Able to do all things.

He should be made accustomed to put his trust in Allah and to know that He is the One who cures and that we are obligated to love Him and worship Him. The father should also teach his son to love the Prophet and obey him. He should relate to him some of his characteristics and manners and inform him that he would love children and play with them as well as other things that their minds can comprehend.

He should repeatedly ask them: "Who is your Lord? Who is your Prophet? What is your Religion? Where is Allah?"

The child should learn to have a love for the Companions and righteous people and he should memorize Surah Al-Fatihah, Surah Al-Ikhlas and the Mu'awadhatain (i.e. Surahs Al-Falaq and An-Naas).

Sunnah of Childcare: Seeking Protection

MashaAllah, parents go to great lengths to try and protect their children. They stake out neighborhoods for potentially dangerous elements, interview school yard friends to weed out negative influences, and cover every sharp corner of the house in plastic to lessen the hurt from the falls their children may take.

But in this great effort to provide protection, a parent's ability can only go so far. After all, we're only human. And as humans, we can never know what the future will bring or what dangers of the unseen lie waiting for us. To truly protect our children from the evils of this world, both seen and unseen, we must continuously seek the aid of Allah, azza wa jal. Like the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam taught, "Wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata 'illaa billaah." There is no power and no might except by Allah.--Ahmad, with an authentic chain


In the Qur'an, we are given examples of believers supplicating to Allah for their children's protection and right upbringing. In Surah Al-Imran, we are told of the dua'a that the mother of Maryam made.

"Then when she gave birth to her child (Maryam), she said: 'O My Lord! I have given birth to a female child,'--and Allah knew better what she brought forth,--'And the male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary), and I seek refuge with You (Allah) for her and for her offspring from Shaitan (Satan), the outcast."--3:36


In Surah Ibrahim, Allah tells us how Prophet Ibrahim, alayhi salaam, sought refuge for his sons' safety and adherence to the religion:
"And remember when Ibrahim said: 'O My Lord! Make this city (Mecca) one of peace and security, and keep me and my sons away from worshiping idols.'" --14:35


"O my Lord! Make me one that establishes the prayer, and (also the same) for my offspring, our Lord, and accept my invocation." --14:40


Prophet Zakariyya, alayhi salaam, also sought Allah's aid in raising his children:
"He says: 'My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my offspring good. Truly, I have turned to you in repentance, and truly I am one of the Muslims." --46:15

From the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, we see that he sought refuge in Allah for his two grandsons, Hasan and Husayn. It's recorded in both Bukhari and Muslim that the Prophet used to supplicate, saying: "I seek refuge in Allah for the two of you through the perfect words of Allah from every devil and poisonous pest, and from every evil (envious) eye." 

MashaAllah, such beautiful examples from the best of believers in Allah. Alhamdulilah that Allah gave us the ability to do what we can for our children, so inshaAllah we'll continue buying the knee pads, the play mats, and bicycle helmets. But let us also never forget that there is no power and no might except by Allah.

Wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata 'illaa billaah. 

Sunnah of Childcare: Showing Mercy

SubhanAllah, as mothers, it's in our nature to love and nurture our children. Often times, the responses we give to our children are more motherly instinct than anything else. But if we reflect, renew our intention, and follow the example of our beloved Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we can easily turn those everyday actions into actions of mercy and, inshaAllah, be rewarded for it too. 


Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alayhi wa salam, kissed Al-Hasan while Al-Aqra ibn Haabis at-Tameemee was sitting near him.  Al-Aqra said, "Indeed I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them."  The Messenger of Allah looked at him and said,  "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." --Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 426/10


Merciful Act #1: Kissing Your Child
'Aa'ishah, radiAllahu anha, said that a Bedouin man came to the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa salam, and  said, "You (people) kiss the children and we do not kiss them."  So the Prophet said, "Is there anything that I can do once Allah has removed mercy from your heart?" --Saheeh Al-Bukhari 426/10


'Umayr ibn Ishaaq said, "I was with Al-Hasan ibn 'Alee when we met with Aboo Hurayrah who said, "Show me where I might kiss you in the place where I saw the messenger of Allah kiss."  He replied, "Al-Qameesah" (shirt or upper garment), He said, "So he kissed the front of his stomach."  --Ahmed with a hasan chain


Merciful Act#2: Carrying Your Child in Prayer
Abu Qataadah said that the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, came out to us with Umaamah bint Abeel-'Aas on his shoulders.  Then he prayed.  When he bowed, he placed her on the ground and when he rose from bowing, he lifted her back off the ground." --Saheeh Al-Bukhaari


On the authority of Abu Shaddaad, from his father, who said that the Prophet, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, came out to us for one of the 'ishaa prayers carrying Hasan and Husayn.  The Messenger of Allah stepped forward and set them both down.  Then he prayed and prostrated between their backs a single prostration that was lengthy.  My (Abu Shaddaad's) father said, 'Then I raised my head and the child was on the back of the Messenger of Allah while he was prostrating.  I then returned to my prostration.'  So once the Messenger of Allah had completed his prayer, the people said, 'O Messenger of Allah, certainly you have prostrated between two backs in your prayer.  Certainly the length of this prostration led us to believe that something had happened or that revelation had decended upon you.'  He, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, said, 'None of that occured, rather this child moved around me and I didn't wish to disturb him until he had finished.'  -- collected in An-Nasaa'ee, authenticated by Shaykh Muqbil


Merciful Act #3: Playing With Your Child
Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid ibn Sa'eed said, "I came to the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, along with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt.  The messenger of Allah said, 'Sanah, sanah!' (this means 'good' in the ethiopian langauge)  Umm Khaalid further said, 'Then I started playing with the seal of Prophethood.  My father admonished me, but the Messenger of Allah said (to my father) 'Leave her.'  The Messenger of Allah then addressed me saying, 'Ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee.' (Trans. note: This phrase 'ablee wa akhliqee' is used by the arabs to supplicate for an extended life.  Its meaning could be conveyed in the following expression: 'May you live so long that your garments become worn and ragged.')  So she (Umm Khaalid) remained this way until (this supplication for her became actualized and subsequently) she would be mentioned by the people," meaning that she would remain until her garments became old and ragged. --Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 425/10


Merciful Act #4: Placing a Child in Your Lap
'Usaamah ibn Zayd said that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam, used to take me and place me on his thigh and he would place al-Hasan ibn 'Alee on his other thigh, then he would come close to us and say, "Oh Allah!  Please be merciful to them, for indeed, I am merciful to them." --Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 434/10


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Note: All cited information provided in this post was taken from the English translation of Umm 'Abdillah Al-Waadi'iyyah's book, My Advice to the Women. You can find the original online posting of this article entitled, Showing Mercy Towards Children is a Means of Achieving the Mercy of Allah at http://abdurrahman.org/

Sunnah of Childcare: Playing with Children

Ok, so I haven't been a mom for very long. But it doesn't take very long to learn that our children want our attention. They want to be held, hugged, kissed, talked to, tickled, and played with. But for us moms, it's easy to get bogged down with other things to do. And while a simple solution may be to plop our children in front of a television screen, leave them alone in their car seats, or hand them off to the nanny, I say get down and PLAY!

"...Do not trivialize the act of playing with children for you will be clashing against their natures and the dispositions upon which they were created. Instead, participate with them in their games. Play with them and have fun with them to the point that they love you, enjoy your company and heed your advice and guidance." --'Abdus-Salaam bin 'Abdillah As-Sulaymaan from his book, Raising Children in Light of the Qur'aan and Sunnah.

The Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, was a very busy man. He was a Prophet, a teacher, an imam, a community leader, a husband, a father, and so much more, mashaAllah. Yet even he made time to play with children.

Abu Hurairah said: "The Messenger of Allah would stick his tongue out to Al-Husayn bin 'Alee, so the boy would see the redness of his tongue and become ecstatic." --Sahih of Ibn Hibbaan

'Umar said: "I saw the Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn on the shoulders of the Prophet, so I said, 'What an excellent steed you two have below you.' And the Messenger of Allah said, 'And what excellent riders they are!'" --Al-Haithamee

MashaAllah, what a beautiful sunnah playing with children is and what power it can have in building our child's affections and trust for us. Playtime can also be prime learning time for our children. For babies, playing simple games such as stacking blocks or rolling a ball around can help a child understand important concepts like cause and effect, and build essential skills like hand-eye coordination. For older children, games can be a fun way to teach moral values like tawakkul (trust in Allah), honesty, and sharing.

So the next time our child is flashing that wide, two-toothed grin, or tugging at our abaya for attention, let's just put what we're doing to the side for a few moments, get in touch with our inner child, and indulge in some quality playtime. Not only will our child be happier, but we just might be too.